Stranded Irony 

It’s all ironic and yet it’s not. How life connects, how sometimes it doesn’t make sense. There are moments of clarity, when all the dots connect and everything makes sense. There is truth to the rough patches and lies to the plans we thought we made. I constantly remind myself that if something isn’t going the way I want it to, there is a reason. There is purpose in every decision, action and trial. Is it just? Food for thought I guess is where I’m going with this one. There isn’t an answer to every question of mine and I’m not so sure there ever will be- but there is clarity. Some say it’s God’s plan, I like to think it’s my plan. Nothing against the big man upstairs, I just like to believe I hold some kind of control when it feels like everything goes south. Lately, I don’t feel in control. I feel like I’m standing on a floating island, waiting for a boat to rescue me.

Waiting to hear back from schools, waiting for an answer I feel like is never coming. Waiting for a birthday to level me up with the rest of the world. Waiting for my bank account to grow enough to get by. Waiting for summer. Waiting for Friday. Why is that? Learning to live in the moment with the rest of the world is so much easier said than done. It’s my biggest flaw as I’m sure we’re all guilty of it in some way. But what is different about this, is feeling like this isn’t my life yet. That my life is dependent upon certain answers, outcomes. I keep thinking when I grow up, it will all be okay. All my angst will become worth it and there will be no struggle to bear.

So I’m starting today. On this sunny Monday morning, I’m going to try a little harder to accept what is right now. 

XOXO,

Someone send a boat.