Valentine’s Shmalentine’s

DISCLAIMER: I don’t hate Valentine’s Day- this is simply a tribute to how far I’ve come personally and why Vday’s meaning has grown on me.

Before I met my current boyfriend, Justin, I almost lost sight of myself so blind in weary that I would stand alone forever. I was the girl with the short-term thing that never worked out and  I DESPISED Valentine’s because it only reminded me of that. But, over time I just started to accept the fact that I hadn’t met the right person yet. After trial and errors and lost hope- I actually lost myself.

I remember being dumped one day, over text, with zero inclination of heartfelt emotion on the other end and feeling like I had really nothing else to offer the world. That day, to clear my head, I went to the gym to forget about my day and whatshisname (and also who cares). I started to think as I sweated on the treadmill glaring at the glacier speed of time when I realized I forgot that I loved to read. I forgot that I hadn’t written anything personal in over 6 months. I forgot that I loved taking pictures and going my favorite trail to run (sort of a light jog but running sounds better) and cooking for myself and going to yoga.

I actually forgot about what made me happiest while I was so obsessed with not being alone. WHO DOES THAT? And why did I let it happen to me? This was a huge pivotal moment in my young years of searching for love, life- the works.

Okay so, I still don’t love the idea this “holiday” portrays for the simple fact that someone who is searching for love or feels left out because they don’t exactly have anything to celebrate, this February 14th is just another Tuesday for them. What about celebrating little victories within yourself? What about feeling proud of the person you are or achieving small term goals here and there? I think that deserves a day more than Vday. However, I found myself before I found Justin. I think that’s what helped me the most. I stopped dwelling on trying to be perfect and did more of what makes me happiest. I like to think that’s what lead J and I together- having it not forced to find but we just kind of stumbled into each other at the perfect time in both of our lives.

I am happy on my own, yet, Justin has a lot to do with that. He’s so wonderful that he actually makes me give in to Vday. I finally have someone to share my secrets, my dreams, my love with and he’s still here so I feel the urge to pop out the cheesy store-bought cards, his favorite treats and plan some ooey gooey date night because why? We’re young and in love. But most important, he makes me want to celebrate. That being said, just because someone doesn’t have a significant other to share this coming Valentine’s Day with, doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to celebrate. Buy yourself somethin’ special and kick your feet up- make Valentine’s day your new “Me Day.”

I guess I should’ve researched the origin of Valentine’s Day and put that forth for you and I’m sure I have several double standards here and while I feel like I have a clear point, I really don’t feel like I do. Happy Valentine’s Day? I think?

Love Always,

Closet Valentine’s Day Admirer.

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