Hello Sunshining world.
I am a 23 year old restaurant server, as of last week. I gave my stable job my two weeks notice after having an internal battle ridden with self-doubt, lack of motivation and much more. If I were to have stayed through my last semester in college, I would’ve landed a full time gig afterwards, salary, benefits and all. While it felt somewhat stable to stay in this position and work for the companies that I did (CEO had 2 companies, same office, I worked for both) it just didn’t feel right anymore.
I have one semester left of my undergrad and I have no idea what I want to do. I knew it wasn’t my current position, so I began to wonder if my potential was being wasted by continuing to work at a job that I didn’t see a future in. Furthermore, I didn’t see a future for myself, at all.
I began to fill my own head with self doubt, “what if this is the only solid gig I’ll ever get in my life?” “what if I’m just not smart enough for a better job” and the most crippling, “what if I’m destined for a mundane job?”
Taking all of this in, I decided to take a leap of faith and quit my stable job of a year & 3 months. My colleagues were somewhat surprised that I decided to leave but the one that was most surprised was me. After all, after filling my own head with unimaginable amounts of self doubt and deciding that I was worth more, I deserved more and that I had a right to find out what exactly that was, I got apart of myself back.
I still had a part time job to fall back on which couldn’t mean any less from the scale of money that I was actually making. While leading up to me giving my notice, I was completely riddled with fear and terror for what the future could hold, I left feeling extremely optimistic and excited. I feel like I could literally do anything.
While I’m also a complete moron of a human being, I still have a little fear of what I’m actually capable of doing. Probably shouldn’t put that on the internet for future employers to see but, here we are.
I’ve been waiting to start on projects that excite me due to my lack of time from my jobs but I’m so excited for what the future could actually hold for me. So, with all of that said, I encourage you all to do the things that scare you the most. While mine is disappointing literally anyone or having confrontation about minor discretions, yours could be something actually worth fearing.
Thank you guys for sticking around, I have a feeling you might be seeing more of me.
XOXO,
Unemployed. (kinda).
chasingsunshine.blog 