When I was a kid, my favorite things were Hilary Duff, barbies and mac & cheese. I was afraid of the dark, I liked falling asleep in the car just so my dad could carry me inside and growing up was my biggest dream.
Today was one of those days where I was unexpectedly forced to reflect and remember everything that got me here. I drove to an office for work today right next to where I went to preschool. It’s been torn down since then but as I walked out of my car and looked over, I became so aware. I was wearing knee high boots, slacks and a trench coat. My hair was curled and my makeup was done up nice. I was 22 and remembering what it was like being 5 years old in the same exact location.
Life has been moving at a fast speed lately and I find myself losing track & trying to catch up. Through every obstacle, good + bad- I’ve had myself. I got reminded of being 5 years old, dreaming of being the person that I am today. I think about telling my younger self everything I’ve accomplished and I still don’t think I would’ve believed it. It’s not like I’ve conquered the world or anything, but I always had this vision of myself that I try very hard to keep up with. When I was younger, I would’ve thought that being 22 is “grownup” age. I sit here and feel somewhat okay with spending time dreaming of being this age. Yes, living in the moment is supposed to be what everyone strives for, however, being an impressionable young girl and dreaming of being the best version of yourself is pretty inspiring if you think about it.
Today I was reminded of being 5 years old and being able to dream up a life for my future self and making it whatever I wanted it to be. I sit here at my big girl job, writing this post and not being able to think of much else. How many trials and tribulations add up to make a person’s life mean so much. All these days add up to a life and it hit me today that I’ve created an entire life that’s all mine. Growing up feels so unsure at times. Just when I think I’ll have it all figured out, something reminds me that I don’t think I ever quite will.
Reflecting on my Barbie loving, afraid of the dark 5 year old self, all I can do is keep going from here and remember that life is all just a collection of days, imbedded with small memories. While that may terrify me, it also inspires me to keep creating a collection of memories while still just trying to figure it out along the way.
Xoxo,
Nostalgic.
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