Having only a few weeks left of 2017, I thought I would reflect on my past year. There hasn’t been a point in my life where I felt I finally understood why some people are the way they are, why things just don’t work out sometimes and why appreciating the little things are sometimes all you’re allotted for in a day.
Seeing adults at this point in my life is so weird. I guess you could classify me as an “adult” which is freaky on its own. I’ve looked to adults all my life, obviously. Asking for help, looking for guidance. I find it strange when I now give the advice, or even the help. But, knowing that Christmas is just another form of stress for most, how masking their problems at home is the only way they make it through the day and that they’re just still trying to figure it out- it’s a turning point.
I’ve come to appreciate the small things in my life because I have no choice at times. It really is the smallest things: lighting my favorite candle at the end of a long day, seeing all the pretty Christmas lights or seeing my dogs when I come home. Families are hard. I think that’s why I’ve started to pick up on this appreciating life kinda thing. Seeing the stress of a hard day translate to someone older than me isn’t hard to relate to anymore. While I don’t understand what its like being a parent, I understand what real stress feels like. This is the first year I was so stressed about Christmas shopping my heart was racing while I made my first stop. I finally understood why my mom didn’t get so excited when we talked about presents. I’m not asking for pity here, I’m just figuring out that I’m not so far off base with the “real world problems.” I’m the youngest in my family and I’ve always felt that way. To have a standing in the world and all these opinions on politics and real world issues that you read about in the paper is weird for me. Yes, I’m well aware these are everyday things that normal people don’t question and maybe you’ve all felt adulating stress way longer than I have. But, in this past year, the feeling of relation has really hit. I’ve faced a lot this year but I’m choosing not to dwell on it. Just like feeling stress of everyday little problems, we shouldn’t let this consume us.
Whatever is standing in the way of your happiness deserves a good kick in the ass. Instead of masking your problems next year, face them head on. Instead of making your new year a clean slate, make it a time to change what you want to change. Life is scary and this little peak I’ve had into adulting this year has shown me that it’s just the beginning. I respect the hell out of those who’ve been through so much this year and regardless if you have or not, you should be proud of yourself. Through all the stress and the bulls** that comes along with life that none of us signed up for, look forward to coming home to your dogs and lighting a candle.
XOXO,
make 2018 yours.
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