Alright, a few things we need to get straight before we move into this one. First, I’ve been avoiding this post for as long as I can and I finally just need to get it out there. Second, I say journey in the title because I am far from any sort of destination in this area. I also want to preface with the fact that no matter who you are or how you come- you’re beautiful.
Okay, real talk. Growing up, I had a pretty okay body image. I was never really overweight but I never felt stick skinny. People would always tell me that I looked so skinny and I was just tiny little Dani– but this is s o f a r from how I felt.
While the weight on the scale has never reached an unhealthy BMI, I felt differently. I have always been extremely self critical and I never give myself a break. My metabolism has definitely slowed down from high school where I could eat whatever I wanted and not feel a thing the next day. BOY has that changed. Especially being 21 and thinking that beer is all fun & games until waking up and being super bloated. Having said that, I have never felt unhealthy, I have always managed to eat healthy meals, make it into the gym on a semi-ridiculous schedule (meaning if I don’t wanna, I don’t) and trying to drink as much water as I can. Even typing all of this out, I see nothing wrong with the way I live day to day health wise– so why am I so damn critical of myself?
I could tell you all the things I see wrong with not only my body, but with myself. Sometimes, I can be needy, moody or not have any motivation whatsoever. But is that any excuse to completely bash myself? My body has been through a lot with me and it kind of makes me sad when I can’t even find a positive note about myself some days. My body is healthy, I should always remain grateful for that. And yet, I stand in front of the mirror, facing my harshest critic.
Your body is constantly changing over time, so it makes sense to have a changing body image. And yes I for one, am very aware that having a healthy body image is easier said than done because I have to work at mine everyday. But, I’m saying for the little moments where I get dressed for the day, or have a good hair day or even have a good workout and I let myself feel confident– those are the moments that I live for. It has always been a goal of mine to just l e t g o of my insecurities but who are we kidding? They’re always going to be there in the back of your mind. I don’t mean that to sound discouraging, I mean it to sound realistic. There is no one jumping in a fairyland with absolutely no doubts in life and singing melodies with flowing hair (but if there is don’t tell me bc it would ruin my post.) What I mean by that, is that yes there is a way to just ignore every negative thought in your head and go about your day. I’m talking to those people who know that the negative thoughts will never go away, let’s be real. But, knowing how to squash them is what really matters.
No, nobody can see the way those jeans make your thighs look, that’s just you.
NO, nobody can tell that you skipped the gym yesterday.
And no, nobody is staring at you with a scoresheet waiting for you to fail.
Most of your doubts are floating in your head, running on the power of your own self loathing. SO even if its something you work at every single day, who cares? I say we should all start now. Turn your negative comments into positives (for example: I look fat today> I have a healthy body and food in my belly, which is something to always be thankful for.) It doesn’t need to resort back to weight or your body or the way you look, it can come from your heart and the kind of person you wish to be.
No matter your size, color, personality or well being– you control the thoughts of you. No one is you and that is your power. I think we should all take some time today to realize how far our bodies have come with us and give ourselves some credit. No, this amazing power to squash your daily thoughts will not come overnight, however, it can start small. Then, without even realizing it, you can slowly begin to start loving yourself. In every stage of life, in every little way. I’m working on it, I hope you will too.
XOXO,
Start your journey.
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